Been going back and forth as to how I’ll write this entry, the thing is, I still don’t know how this decision will turn out. About a month ago I decided that I’m leaving my corporate job to do something else. Do what? At that point I had ideas, but nothing was set in stone. I guess the idea of not being employed scares me, the idea of freelancing scares me. Maybe I’m not cut out for it. I guess I’ll never know. I’ll never know til I’m in that situation. I have this inkling feeling that all I’ll ever be is what I’m used to doing, almost seven years in the industry and I feel like it’s who I am now. It’s never too late to change, or is it?
I want to travel, I don’t want to travel long term. I wanna be somewhere until I could figure out who I wanna be. Away from all the noise and stress of Manila, living in Manila has made me sad in more ways I could imagine. Yet, Manila is home to me, I wanna travel for a few weeks and go back home when I feel like it. Sounds selfish. I just feel like no matter how unhappy I am in Manila, something still pulls me back to it, maybe my parents, or my brothers, or my nephews. I honestly still do not know how I feel about it.
I wrote that before it actually happened, and now it’s happening. I’ve been bouncing around the idea of actually traveling for maybe a month continuously (?), go back to school (?), enroll in TESDA (?). I’ve yet to decide what I really wanna do, one thing’s for sure, I need to have an income. I don’t know if I should be proud of myself for actually not applying for any jobs whatsoever and missing out on (what I feel are good) opportunities for me, I just do not feel good about committing to something I may or may not go in circles again — everything’s just uncertain at this moment.
I guess for now, I’ll enjoy this view for a week and decide when I get back in Manila. 🙂
I’ll keep you guys posted, then?