2017 is less than two weeks away, would you believe? I mean, it’s an understatement for me to say that 2016 just flew by. A lot of things happened, personally, nationwide and even global. To be perfectly honest, I’m done with 2016. It wasn’t so bad, actually, 2016 was a brave year for me. I know I’ve been repeating it over and over and over again- how I left my stable-good paying-corporate job for uncertainty. How my life has turned after doing so! I’m only working part time now, on an allowance based job. Sometimes I accept odd jobs like researching and stuff for little amount of money. It made me realize that your good salary cannot pay your mental health, unhappiness and stress. So now, I may be earning so little, but I’m a lot happier.
My working setup is so flexible, but above anything, I’m extremely blessed to have a boss who’s very understanding and sees my skills and strengths and makes it as a company asset. Let’s not jinx it, but 2017 has so much in store for me on this new career journey. Me, John and a few friends also has a venture that we’ll be going in to next year, I’m praying for its success.
I’m also still looking in to if blogging is for me. I mean, I don’t feel confident as a writer so I’m trying to look in to other means as to how I can be a storyteller. Vlogs, photos? I do not know yet. I’m also considering breaking free from this blog, but I’d have to discuss that with John first.
I’ve also reassessed myself as a traveler, I realized I do not wish to visit all 81 provinces. I intend to fall in love with each individual culture I get learn along the way. Next year I may stay in Baler for a few months – crossing my fingers – only because of the comfort and security I have when I’m there. I stopped having a bucket list or a next destination, I intend to travel in quality over quantity.
I’m hoping by next month I have a lot of stories to share!
Wrote this a day before leaving Siargao, publishing three days after. ****
Twenty-six years and six days old, here I am in Siargao, opting to skip surfing in ‘Quicksilver’ on our last full day here. I spent most of the afternoon if not eating, watching a movie on my laptop. I still don’t know if it’s a day wasted or well spent since I’ve yet to feel any regrets with my decision. Here I am on the veranda of the room we rented thru AirBnb staring at Daku Island every so often, contemplating on my life choices. (LOL)
I feel like the reality of unemployment is slowly creeping in. Unemployed with no backup plans? Yep, that’s me. As told on my previous blog entry, I’ve yet to decide what I want to do. With that thought looming over my head, it makes me wonder.. How’s everyone at 26 keeping up? Is everyone certain of what they want to do? John would always remind me how you’re not supposed to compare your life with others, something about race and marathons, so no need to remind me of that, it’s just that I’m very very very very curious as to how people seem to have their shit together.
We’re flying back to Manila, and I kinda dread it. Although I haven’t fallen in love with Siargao as I expected, I really like it here. I’d ask John during our rides how people do not have a sense of urgency here, and he said, what’s there to be urgent about? Point taken. Time seems to slow down in this island. What I do love about Siargao is how lively it is at night, yet at 9 or 10 it would mellow down. We’d been having late dinners before we realized how most of the restaurants close at 10. I like how there seems to have a perfect balance of being lively and quiet. I like how everything’s accessible via a motorbike, which made me realize how surprisingly convenient it is.
Maybe I need another week here to get to know the island more. Or a month. Or a year. Maybe. We don’t know.
Been going back and forth as to how I’ll write this entry, the thing is, I still don’t know how this decision will turn out. About a month ago I decided that I’m leaving my corporate job to do something else. Do what? At that point I had ideas, but nothing was set in stone. I guess the idea of not being employed scares me, the idea of freelancing scares me. Maybe I’m not cut out for it. I guess I’ll never know. I’ll never know til I’m in that situation. I have this inkling feeling that all I’ll ever be is what I’m used to doing, almost seven years in the industry and I feel like it’s who I am now. It’s never too late to change, or is it?
I want to travel, I don’t want to travel long term. I wanna be somewhere until I could figure out who I wanna be. Away from all the noise and stress of Manila, living in Manila has made me sad in more ways I could imagine. Yet, Manila is home to me, I wanna travel for a few weeks and go back home when I feel like it. Sounds selfish. I just feel like no matter how unhappy I am in Manila, something still pulls me back to it, maybe my parents, or my brothers, or my nephews. I honestly still do not know how I feel about it.
I wrote that before it actually happened, and now it’s happening. I’ve been bouncing around the idea of actually traveling for maybe a month continuously (?), go back to school (?), enroll in TESDA (?). I’ve yet to decide what I really wanna do, one thing’s for sure, I need to have an income. I don’t know if I should be proud of myself for actually not applying for any jobs whatsoever and missing out on (what I feel are good) opportunities for me, I just do not feel good about committing to something I may or may not go in circles again — everything’s just uncertain at this moment.
I guess for now, I’ll enjoy this view for a week and decide when I get back in Manila. 🙂